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When People Speak in Circles

By: Sharee Murphy, MBA

 

 

There are few things more exhausting than trying to understand someone who has no intention of being clear.

At first, it does not always appear that way. Some people sound thoughtful, emotionally aware, even intellectually deep. Their words carry emotion, complexity, and reflection. But over time, you begin to notice a pattern.

Nothing ever fully lands.

 

Conversations become long but unresolved. Questions are answered indirectly. Accountability becomes philosophical. Clarity somehow always stays just out of reach. And eventually you realize that some people speak in circles because direct honesty would require them to confront themselves.

 

Not everyone communicates to create understanding. Some people communicate to relieve emotional pressure. They say enough to release what they are feeling without ever saying enough to be held accountable for it.

That is why certain conversations leave you feeling mentally drained instead of emotionally connected.

 

You heard the words.
You processed the emotion.
Yet somehow, nothing actually became clearer.

 

Confusion is rarely accidental.

Sometimes ambiguity is emotional protection. People soften language, redirect conversations, intellectualize emotions, or hide behind complexity because vulnerability feels unsafe to them. Clarity creates exposure, and exposure requires ownership.

Ownership changes things. It changes relationships, expectation and responsibility.

And not everyone is ready for that level of honesty.

 

The difficult part is that unclear communication creates unclear realities. You cannot build healthy relationships, friendships, leadership environments, or emotional safety on constant interpretation.

 

Eventually, you stop asking yourself what someone “meant” and start paying attention to what their communication consistently produces.

Does it create understanding? Or does it create confusion?

Does it move things forward? Or does it continuously delay accountability?

 

There is a difference between someone struggling to express themselves and someone avoiding clarity altogether. Emotional maturity is not about communicating perfectly. It is about being willing to communicate honestly.

That willingness matters. Because over time, confusion becomes heavy. Constantly translating people, overanalyzing conversations, and trying to uncover hidden meanings slowly disconnects you from yourself. You begin spending more time interpreting others than listening to your own instincts.

And perhaps that is the real danger of people who speak in circles.

Not simply that they are unclear, but that their ambiguity can slowly pull you away from your own clarity if you allow it.

At some point, self-respect requires you to stop forcing understanding where honesty is absent.

 

Not every unanswered question needs another conversation.
Not every confusing dynamic deserves more time.
And not every emotionally unavailable person is a puzzle meant to be solved.

 

Some people are simply showing you the limits of where they currently are. The sooner you accept that, the sooner clarity returns to your life.